What does separation anxiety feel like?

Anna, a four-year-old, was having difficulty attending pre-school. Every morning Anna would cry and scream until she was nearly hysterical. Anna said that she was afraid that her mom would never come back to pick her up. Her mother, Joan, claimed that Anna had always been a needy little girl, but she didn’t realize the extent of the problem. Anna began refusing to sleep in her own bed at night. Anna’s teachers and babysitters said that Anna was always upset when she wasn’t with her mother. Things began to escalate and Joan feared that Anna would never develop the social skills she would need to succeed in life.

That was three years ago. Today, Anna feels much better about being away from her mom. She goes to birthday parties and plays with her friends. She even looks forward to school each day. Anna and her mom found treatment from a psychiatrist who diagnosed Anna with Separation Anxiety Disorder. The three of them were able to work through Anna’s difficulties and now Anna is a happy, socially active little girl. Separation Anxiety Disorder occurs in children under the age of 18, and usually before the age of 10. A key component of Separation Anxiety Disorder in children is excessive worry concerning separation from primary caregivers or the home, as well as three or more of the following:

• Recurrent, constant distress when separation from home or primary caregiver is anticipated
• Persistent refusal to sleep without being near a primary caregiver
• Nightmares involving the theme of separation
• Constant worry about possible harm coming to primary caregivers
• Excessive worry about being lost or being kidnapped
• Repeated physical complaints when anticipating separation from primary caregivers
• Constant refusal to go to school or participate in any social situation that involves being away from the primary caregiver

While most children exhibit symptoms of separation anxiety, those with Separation Anxiety Disorder show symptoms for at least four weeks. The disturbance negatively affects many aspects of a child’s life, including school performance, and the ability to make friends. Separation Anxiety Disorder can be treated, and with the appropriate measures, a child can fully function in all daily activities without excessive feelings of separation.